Single Mom's have help!

There's help. Who knew?
I got a bulletin on myspace from a friend I went to highschool with who is also a single mother (she has FOUR though). She found a website designed to help single mothers financially, emotinonally, and it's full of advice for anyone with children no matter what their relationship status is. Check it out and pass it on ...

It's http://singlemomsresource.org/

Be a woman too

There's nothing I like more lately than hanging out with my girlfriends, talking about kids, making plans for trips and going all out just because we can. I love to have talks, not conversations. The difference being the level of intimacy. When you talk it's usually about personal things, it's real bonding taking place. Conversations, to me, are more open forum and broad subjects. To sit in a comfortable, non threatening environment, calm and laid back, sipping cosmos and laughing at the ton of inside jokes we have created. How do we remember them all?! I have no clue :o) All I know is the older I get the more I value my friendships with my girls and more support I feel having them close.

... Sounds like I'm talking about a BRA! lol

What's up with the men down here?

OK so my dear friend who's life is sort of parallel to mine has brought up a valid point. While watching Little House on the Prairie she cried because of the, how did she put it? Something like, "because the show portrays the women as being just as strong as the men." Forgive me G for misquoting you. It got me thinking, seriously, like 2 minutes ago, that the problem with men "down here" (I'll explain 'down here' in a minute) is the constant underestimation of a woman's strength and the fact that it is actually GENETIC!

OK, by "Down here" I meant the lower 48 or perhaps just the south because that's where we live. See, G and I grew up in Alaska for the first part of our lives and witnessed the mixture of adoration, love, respect, and teamwork that made up the marriages in our direct lines of vision. If you live in AK more then likely you are there because of a job. It's usually just you and your immediate family. Extended family is in the main part of the country mixed up in all the stupid drama and false idealizations of what marriage is. Women here voluntarily take a backseat to their husbands and their husbands make sure their wives know their place. Husbands, not all, but most - for real, speak to the wives any way they want, they do what they want, go where they want, spend what they want, see who they want, etc. Feeling as though they owe no explanation of their actions to the 'little wife.' However, if the wife wants any kind of social life she is swiftly put back in her place and too often then not she ends up knocked up again. Children are not cherished by these selfish men either. These children are merely belongings, objects, assets. Men do not pick sick kids up from school, men do not get up in the middle of the night with crying children, men do not attend all school functions, men do not do ANYTHING but go to work and carry on with their own lives (and keep the woman in line.) It's pathetic! But like I said, it's genetic. These men were brought up by fathers who were the same way. These WOMEN were raised by mothers who were treated the same way so they honestly have no idea they are being taken advantage of!
Look, I am a Christian and I am very proud of that. I do know the bible says that the wife shall be in submission to her husband BUT IT DOES NOT SAY THAT THE WIVES ARE TO BE AS SLAVES TO THEM!
The whole family dynamic is completely different in Alaska. We were brought up with the understanding that we are every bit as strong and intelligent as men and to have integrity, values, morals, and the ability to stand up for what you want. The ratio of men to women is something like 10:1. CRAZY that we would still have the values we do with numbers like that. Down here try to find a college graduate with no kids who doesn't live with her mother (or grandmother). I've been here for 14 years and I know 2. TWO. That's it! If I had been obedient like he was expecting then I would still be married to my ex but darn it, I had too much self esteem. Yes, he tried to break my spirit on a daily basis. Yes, he kept wanting babies because he wanted to keep tabs on me. Yes, he thought the harder he worked at being a jerk the sooner I would cowboy up and get with the program. What he WASN'T counting on was the fact that I have completely supportive parents, a family at church, a constant source of strength in my faith, and the knowledge to get HIS money for HIS kids that he wanted so much. The secret to happy marriage down here isn't respect or communication or even love. It's submission. Blind submission at that.

I, just like G, feel I am better off staying single because i am unwilling to compromise my spirit for less than what I'm worth. I'm either going to stay single here or I'm movin back to Alaska!

Republicans vs Demolition Crew

I'm just a little ashamed of what's taking place in the political circle right now. First of all, yes, just to put it out there, a couple firsts for the American people are happening at the same time. Personally I don't see the big deal with it. UNLIKE the "african-american" and "woman" who 'claim' to not be marketing their obvious differences. Obama with his "Change we can believe in" goes just a little bit deeper than putting a democrat in the oval office and if you don't think that's all he's talking about then you're naive. And then Hillary saying "I trust the American people will choose the best possible candidate as their President WHOEVER SHE MAY BE." OH PLEASE! Get over yourself! First of all the biggest difference I'm seeing in this whole campaign this term is the maturity level. Yes, I am a republican, I think that's pretty obvious. All the Republican candidates worked hard at their campaigns and managed to be friendly and civil to their competition. I wasn't a big Mitt Romney fan until he stepped down because he saw the direction the campaign was going and for the sake of America and it's people he stepped down so that the Republican party wouldn't be split and suffer because of it. He was very supportive of Senator McCain after that. Then you look at the democrats (haha) I have to laugh a little when hillary and Obama start in on eachother because all they do is throw these low blows at eachother and show how "mature" they are when they respond by saying "I'm not going to even respond to that" Ok dude, whatever. I'm ashamed by anyone who is blindly voting based on the fact that this man is african american (I'm sorry, but if he's born in America - He's just american like everone else) or that this woman is a woman (with a brain, heart, blood, and split ends just like everyone else).

What happened to making educated decisions? Look at the facts, people! The top 2 subjects right now are 1 the war in Iraq and 2 the economy. We are in a very tense position at the moment. We are at war and now people who have no idea what's going on are all about pulling our troops out and ending this war. Don't you think that's what President Bush wants to do too? Do you think he likes making American families sad, devastated, and insecure when their loved ones are being called to serve? NO! He's not the anti christ. Yes, there maybe plenty of things to make fun of because he's human and if people followed us around all day every day we would be laughed at too. But we didn't put our families, pride, or anything else on the line to cowboy up and run for president now did we? What happened to having respect for leaders? People also need to be smart enough to realize that this is not a highschool campaign. These Democrats can't promise pizza everyday in the cafeteria and actually make it happen. If one does make it to office and they want a universal healthcare plan how long, logically, do you think it's going to take to get that into effect? YEARS! If it even happens because they can't just make a law and voila! it's done! It has to go through a little thing called Congress which takes forever and Im surprised they don't tell us this part because as Senators they LIVE THESE BATTLES ALL THE TIME!
Let's take a look at what this nation would be like with a democratic leader shall we? ... We would pull all of our troops out of battle grounds and bring them home which means we would surrender to our enemies. This means that our enemies who HATE America will then see weakness and come to our turf and blow us all up But that would probably be a good thing since about 3/4ths of americans will pretty much be living in doctors offices and emergency rooms because they're entitled to free healthcare and the only time they will leave their place in line is to go to the grocery store for food - good thing they have foodstamps because they have no money because they can't work, right? WRONG! They are getting unemployment benefits! The government is handing out free money for being lazy and is totally taking on the burden of financial hardships and personal responsibility because they don't want you to feel like a bad person! "Don't even consider making something of yourself because the world is ending anyway" says the democratic leader to little jimmy. "We will buy your food, give you a house, and send you to the doctor for free as long as you promise to sit at home and keep making babies, and using the public school system as a free babysitter ok? Of course there IS always the options of abortion. Promise? Ok, now DUCK! WATCH OUT FOR THAT BOMB! And as for the American families who are actually working and making ends meet without the government's handouts? Well, it's only a matter of time before they're posted up in line because most of their hard earned dollars will be going to support all the other people. Ok, that is, unless the property taxes that they have to pay on the houses and cars that THEY own put them in the poor house first.
Now look at the difference with a republican in office ... Mr Smith wakes up on Monday morning. He cleans up, gets dressed and greets his wife downstairs with the kids. Everyone is ready to go to school, work, etc. They get into their hybrid cars, go to work, earn their paychecks, get their benefits, go home and spend time with their family feeling safe in their own home that they paid for. They watch the news about the war going on and feel for those who are fighting and for their families ,but have respect for the decisions those men and women made by praying, educating their children about what's going on, and by posting their American flag outside their house. We know that there IS change that we can believe in and it starts at home. Learning how to protect our environment, live healthier, use less gasoline, reach out to neighbors, friends, and family. The biggest difference between Democrats and Republicans is responsibility. Democrats love the blame game and waste too much time on pointing out whats wrong and who's fault it is. We are well aware of whats wrong thank you. Republicans, on the other hand, acknowlege what's wrong and take steps to fix it. The war is a step in the right direction. Yes, it's sad, but we didn't start it, we just want to finish it and get back to the American dream. Remember that? Where you work for what you have, appreciate what you have, and respect what you have, then you SHARE what you have? Remember the "a hand shake is all you need" mentality? Now everyone thinks they're so entitled and it's tabboo to perform an act of kindness and NOT want anything in return. I may live in the south but I'm not FROM the south so I feel pretty comfortable saying I feel reparations (is that right?) for slavery is STUPID. It's the most rediculous thing I've ever heard. Talk about not moving forward! Yes, slavery was a shameful time in American history, but it happened and now it's over. I refuse to apologize for being white because I didn't choose to be white just like the slaves didn't choose to be black. It just happened that way. Now people who's ancestors were slaves think they are entitled to money?! They weren't you! And these people today have a whole world of opportunities available to them that their ancestors only dreamed about and their not taking advantage of them. It makes no sense to me. Hillary Clinton did not choose to be a woman and Barak Obama didn't choose to be black, but they DO choose to be democrats and they choose to play on the emotions of the people instead of encouraging us to take responsibility for ourselves and our families and keep moving forward. It's a shame that other countries already have alternative energy sources figured out and we spend so much time figuring out how to make vehicles bigger and badder and even worse for the economy and environment. It's a shame that we have the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve but had, until recently, refused to use it. Republicans want the American people to have opportunities available to them to achieve success, whatever 'success' may mean to them personally. They see the big picture. All the problems and the reasons for the problems, and then they start solving said problems. They understand how important security is and how protecting this country is crucial to remaining a thriving nation. Democrats want the American People to be even more in debt to the government and want to basically turn the U.S. into their own slaves so that we are begging for them to help us rather than learning how to help ourselves. Republicans stand for morals, integrity, honesty, and values. Isn't that the original American way? Democrats want you believe that whatever you feel is ok. Whatever makes you feel good is ok with them. If you want to be gay be gay, if you want to not work, then don't work, if you decide you don't want to have a baby, then by all means, get an abortion - and since you decided to have that abortion, why don't you ease your conscience and donate your fetus for stem cell research so at least you FEEL like you did something good. Don't educate your children at home, leave it all up to the school system. So what if it's already struggling to leave no kids behind. So what if they are barely ready to move up to the next grade, right? He/she's lucky you didn't abort them anyway.
I have never paid attention to politics until recently. I have children who are going to inherit this country and I woud like to leave it in better condition than I got it. I want them to feel safe. I want to tell them about what an important, scary, sad, triumphant time they grew up in. They need to learn respect for their leaders and love for their country. Most importantly they need to know that even though they only get 1 vote each, all together they get 3 and mine is 4 and grandparents are 2 more, etc, etc. They are part of something much bigger than themselves and they, just like everone of us, needs to have appreciation for it.

my outlet!

So this is my official outlet for my views on being a mother of 3 young children, a Christian woman, and an American citizen. These are 3 things I feel very strongly about and when I am passionate about something I LOVE to talk it to death :o)
I love to text on my phone too, so there maybe some funny words or acronyms here and there.

A little background on me. I am 27 years old. I was a teenage mother at 18. I made some mistakes in my life that don't need to be published (again) because I do not feel that I am defined by them anymore. For every mistake there is a consequence, or rather, a result. The results of my mistakes are what make me so passionate about being a mother, a christian, and an american. And so it begins ...

Being a mother has been my one identity for the longest time. It was my first and foremost priority up until recently. My life is my kids. I really do believe I was put here on this planet to devote myself to them and they have been my greatest lesson and example of unconditional love. I have so much appreciation for them and they have no idea. My parents were my introduction to the concept of unconditional love but I never fully understood until I had my own just as they said it would happen. After the birth of my 2nd child, my first daughter, was when I realized that my parents were not stupid! In fact, I found out pretty quickly that they had been an untapped sourse of wisdom and advice for me that I had absolutely refused to look into. My whole childhood is virtually a blur to me. I have ADD but didn't get diagnosed until I was 17 so for the main part of my education I just sort sailed thru and was pretty oblivious to things. I don't really remember anything that I valued exactly or anything that I felt strongly about. I know my friendships that I cherished, vacations I enjoyed, but details and time lines are lost on me. I'm sad about it and think about it constantly. I don't want my kids to feel this emptiness I feel so I'm trying to make it a point to either write things down, take pictures, and talk about things that happen. I was kept in the dark about really important things as a child. About marriage, about money, religion, sex, all major major things. I was being 'protected' and my family had the abosolute best of intentions, but unfortunately I had to find out a lot of things for myself. For this reason i am teaching my oldest child (8yrs) about managing his money. He is learning bit by bit about sex and the human body at a realistic pace, I am explaining compromise because I don't ever remember compromising - I got my way a lot and my brother wasn't forced to like me or take care of me so to this day he'd rather not have anything to do with me. My son is very protective of his sisters and I try very hard to give him his own space but at the same time encourage him to make room and time for his sisters and family. I have always been taught to have love for my country and respect for it's leaders. You can't live the military life and not have that instilled in you I don't think. I didn't understand how much of a difference 1 person could make and how fullfilling it could be to stand up for something you believe in. I did a lot of things because I was told to. I didn't get any explainations, I just got directions. I don't think i ever really asked for reasons though. I loved my country because I was told to. I went to church and believed in God because I was told to.

See, at the beginning of this blog I said I THOUGHT being a mother was my very top priority. Reently, since the birth of my 3rd child 7 months ago, Irealized that being a Christian is my very top priority because my faith is what defines the kind of mother I am. God is in everything I do, everywhere I go, and everything I say. My love for God is what makes me a passionate American, too. Being a Christian, an American, and a mother equals who I am. They all go hand in hand with eachother. I can tell you though, if I did not have Christ in my life I would not be the same kind of mother or American that I am. All these lessons I am teaching and will teach my children have God's hand in them. The reasons and explainations I give them for why we go to church, or why people act the way they do, or how to manage money all come from the Christian stand point. The basis for it all is knowing the clear cut difference between RIGHT and WRONG. If you base your definitions of right and wrong on the bible you will not be misguided. If you take that concept and apply it to being an American then you have the tools you need to vote either Republican or Democrat. I have been told that 1 has nothing to do with the other but I believe that to be horribly false. My question I pose to anyone who wants to answer, in all seriousness, is it possible for a Christian to be a Democrat? I know there are Christian democrats, but if you apply the bible to politics does it work or does it clash?

I'll leave it at that for now. I've written a blog on my myspace page about the differences that I SEE between Repulicans and Democrats and I will post that here too. I wrote it because I have friends who have been of legal voting age and have yet to vote because they just don't care. It is so aggrevating to me because we have children who are going to be reaping the consequences, whether good or bad, of the decisions we make. It also irritates me because they have pretty strong opinions about what has taken place and what IS taking place but they don't seem to think they can change anything.